


Hate is a strong word when you're not fluent in the language of Love

by habitate



Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: A bit of drama, Gen, M/M, Wooseok hyung, Young Love, emo feelings, i tried my best to write a non-rated fic, pre-produce101, the exciting adventures of two trainees, two cute chicks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-07
Updated: 2017-07-07
Packaged: 2018-11-29 01:50:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11430657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/habitate/pseuds/habitate
Summary: On his first day of training Lai Kuanlin meets Yoo Seonho. It doesn't go down well.





	1. Meet and Greet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guanlin hates Seonho so so much.  
> Maybe.

'Ooh. You're perfect'

Is the first thing that comes out of the young boy's mouth.

'Soooo pretty. Are you for real?'

Is the next one.

Kuanlin stares, feeling overwhelmed with a tiny dash of scared. He's just forgotten the little Korean he's learned and his lips are stiff in an unsuccessful attempt of protest. The boy takes his silence as acceptance and slides into his personal space, planting both hands on his face.

'Such fair skin! And such big eyes! Amazing. You're not wearing circle lenses, are you?'

Luckily for Kuanlin one of the teachers step in, grabbing the boy by he collar and giving him a tap on his head. 

'Seonho, behave! Where are your manners? This is Kuanlin and he's your fellow trainee. He's older than you so stop making fun of him and show some respect'

Kuanlin quickly memorizes the name Seonho as someone he absolutely needs to avoid in the future. 

'A hyung trainee?' Seonho questions and looks him straight in the eye. He seems like he's thinking so maybe he's not quite braind dead yet but Kuanlin's hopes evaporate when the boy explodes into various degrees of happiness and hugs him tightly.

'Waaah! What a pretty hyung I have! Let's debut together~!'  

\---

It's his first week of training and he's gone into hiding. Kuanlin knows this is wrong, this is not the image he wanted to portray but he's very very tired for a 16 years old.

He should be practicing, showcasing his determination in becoming a better rapper, and presenting his willingness to work hard, yet he cringes at the thought of meeting Seonho again. 

Seonho, as it happens, is not just your typical trainee. Seonho's a half-genius, half-idiot all combined into one. He is THE fellow trainee he's supposed to become close with. They are supposed to debut together, to live together, to promote and eat together, to sleep together. Together every single day of the year and for the rest of their lives.

Kuanlin groans at the thought. So maybe he's exaggerating but he doesn't want this. He's confused and scared of this big, loud place as it already is and Seonho isn't helping.

Kuanlin thought it would be different but now it's not and he wants to go home.

'What are you doing hiding there?' someone asks and Kuanlin looks up from where he's crouched on the floor. 

'Me?' he asks in his broken Korean, pointing at himself, although theres no one else in the hallway and the guy is clearly staring straight at him.

'Of course yes you' the other rolls his eyes and for a moment Kuanlin hopes that maybe he will be ignored and the guy will leave but instead he sits down, offering him a hand.

'Hey there. I'm Wooseok. Are you new here because I've not seen you around'

'Wooseok' Kuanlin repeats, looking at the offered palm before taking it. The other's hand is large and warm and Kuanlin realizes that he's a very good looking guy.

'Yes. Wooseok. And you would be...?'

'Kuanlin'

Kuanlin's never been in love but he believes that this must be it. Wooseok is such a beautiful name and all he wants to do is repeat it over and over again.

'Ok, Kuanlin, are you lost?'

Kuanlin is. He's lost in Wooseok's eyes. He's staring at him openly, deciding that he likes everything about this hyung. It must be destiny because why otherwise would he talk to him at his most miserable moment? 

Wooseok scratches the back of his head, obviously uncomfortable and slightly creeped out by the weird kid staring before he stands up and drags Kuanlin with him. 

'Let's go. The teachers will help us finding where you have to be. You are a trainee, right?'

Kuanlin nods. He understood 'you' and 'trainee' and would follow wherever Wooseok goes. 

But as it usually is, life is not fair and his moment of happiness is lost when Seonho comes running down the hall with a gigantic smile plastered on his face.

'Hyung! You found Kuanlin!' He shouts to which Kuanlin wants to protest because he was not lost, he was hiding, yet he cannot explain himself well. Even if he tries Seonho has already grabbed him by the arm and is dragging him off to what he hopes is the practice room.

'Thank you Wooseok hyung! Love you' Seonho yells straight in Kuanlin's ear, causing deafness in that side of his face for the rest of the day, and Kuanlin can only helplessly look at his newfound love shrinking smaller and smaller, wondering if they will ever meet again. He wants to know more about this Wooseok hyung but Seonho's grip is like a claw and soon they are stumbling through the door inside of the practice room. The teachers together with other trainees are already waiting for them which makes this into a very public, very embarrassing experience. 

'There you are' one of the teachers looks at him strictly which makes Kuanlin wince but Seonho heroically steps in front and announces to the whole room that he's found Kuanlin. 

'It's ok! He was lost but I found him. You don't need to worry now because from this day onwards I will act as his guide so our foreign superstar doesn't get lost. We will never be apart, right Kuanlin? '

Seonho looks at him with eyes full of stars to what he only nods, not having understood half of it.

The teachers smile, the trainees clap and Kuanlin wants to crawl somewhere and die.

\---

Practicing is hard. When he wants to coordinate his hands and his body he forgets about his legs and they move on their own. And not in the good way. 

Kuanlin's mind is tired although his body is fine.  All he wants is to go back to the dorm and sleep.

There's only one problem.

'Are you feeling well, Kuanlin-ah? You look a little bit pale, Kuanlin-ah. We can go see the nurse if you want to, Kuanlin-ah'

Seonho.

'Have you eaten? You can come over for dinner, you know. My mom won't mind and she wanted to see you anyway and, besides, you need to eat more. Not just snacks. Have you eaten today?' 

Is he nagging? Kuanlin cannot deal with Seonho right now so he closes his eyes and turns his head away.

'Please stop talking' he mumbles in his limited Korean, hoping that the boy would get the hint. Why is he even here? Why cannot he leave?

'But Kuanlin-ah! You need to eat real food! What have you eaten today? Don't you know that you have to eat a lot when you're growing up?'

And why is he always, always talking about food?

'I don't want eat' Kuanlin groans, stubbornly refusing to look at Seonho because the wall is so much more interesting. He does feel hungry but he will never admit it now.

'Ah, but you have to! You will loose the baby fat too fast and nobody should lose their baby fat too soon. You will lose those adorable cheeks, Kuanlin-ah! Oh, and can I call you LinLin? Because I probably shouldn't but it sounds cute. How did your friends call you back home? I bet you were really popular in school, right?'

Kuanlin hates hates hates Seonho so much right now. He hates him with the little passion he can muster up in his young, tired heart and mind. He doesn't know if he wants to be an idol or a rapper or an idol rapper but he knows he hates Seonho. He hates everything about him. He hates his looks, his voice, his bright, bubbly personality...

'Stop it!'

Kuanlin stares at Seonho who is staring back at him before slowly realizing that he's the one who yelled that. His throat feels dry and strained. 

'Don't... touch me. I don't like it. Don't call me ...those names... don't call me cute don't ask me to eat don't look for me. Just...don't talk to me'

Kuanlin is trying his best to explain but his slurred speech makes him sound stupid and not threatening at all. Not that he wants to sound threatening, he just wants to be alone, just for today. 

Seonho stares, his expression unreadable, before he gives him a small smile and a nod. Kuanlin cannot read his face but he thinks that his words must have hurt him.

Somehow it doesn't make him happy. He should be happy because he hates Seonho but somehow this doesn't feel right.

'Ok, but don't forget to take care of yourself, hyung' Seonho says when he finally moves. He gives him a pat on the shoulder before getting up. Kuanlin wants to say something but his throat is dry, as if a small furry rodent has crawled in there and died. 

'I'll tell the teachers you had a fever so they let you sleep in. Then you can join the other group of trainees tomorrow and won't need to stick with me all the time' 

Kuanlin looks at him in confusion because that's not what he wants. That's not what he wants at all and it's not like he's usually like this but the words are stuck and all he manages is a weak 'ok'. 

Then finally Kuanlin gets his wish as Seonho leaves. He's all alone now, all alone in this entire country.

'Dad, mom, this is hard' he mutters to himself as he presses his face against his legs, wishing for the day to be over.


	2. You and Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuanlin does not hate Seonho after all.  
> 

Next couple of weeks go by in a blur. 

Kuanlin wants to talk to Seonho but he never gets the chance. It's not that Seonho avoids him, it's more that he doesn't go out of his way to talk to him. 

Kuanlin tells himself that he don't care because he's very very busy. He got to practice his dance and rap and also his Korean. His teachers tell him to ask others for help and talk more but there's really no one to talk to.

He tries casual conversations with other trainees but, even if not straight out ignoring him, they don't seem to match and gravitate towards other things soon.

Kuanlin eats breakfast alone. He eats lunch alone. He doesn't eat dinner because he's sick of eating alone. Sometimes he lies in his bed and thinks of how unfair life is. Sometimes he chats with his friends back home, pretending everything is fine, and laughs at pictures of their school trips. Sometimes, when no one is around, he lets a tear or two fall.

Seonho doesn’t live with them in the dorm but he comes to practice. Whenever that happens, there’s a commotion. All the trainees gather around as if he's already a celebrity. 

Seonho is the mood maker around the company and all the hyungs and noonas love him. He always thinks of something funny and he has many ideas to share. Kuanlin also has many ideas to share but nobody ever listens so he doesn't speak up. 

Kuanlin has nothing. He eats his chips in silence and wonders if he could ever become Seonho. 

\---

Kuanlin wakes up early in the morning feeling especially miffed. It's his birthday and he told his parents it's ok for him to stay in Korea. He wanted to go back for a couple of days but he didn't want his parents to think that he's desperate and already given up. He made a bit of a scene when they didn't let him go and now he's a bit of ashamed. 

His sister sends him cute messages and tells him how much she misses her baby brother and his friends write words of encouragement and his parents call and tell him that they love him and no one knows how miserable he really is. 

He's not making any progress. His dancing is bad, his singing is bad, his rap is terrible.

'Hey kid, what's with the long face?' Wooseok asks and Kuanlin looks at him with stars in his eyes. Wooseok hyung is the only ray of sunshine amidst all this darkness.

He wants to tell him everything. He wants to tell him how much his life sucks and how he thinks becoming idol is too hard and how the other trainees don't really like him and Seonho doesn't talk to him anymore... but he never does and Wooseok hyung pats his head and tells him it's going to be alright.

'Don't worry. You will get there with your rap. Just keep working hard and believe in it' and with that he goes, leaving Kuanlin startstruck by those words. 

Wooseok hyung is cool. He's tall, good at dance and rap and he's also handsome. Kuanlin wants to be just like Wooseok hyung. 

He decides to practice hard, throw his all into it and forget about everything else. He even gets praised by his teachers so at the end of the day he feels satisfied.

It doesn’t matter that nobody congratulated him, he thinks to himself when sitting alone in the practice room. Everyone else has gone home or to the dorm.  
He's not a baby anymore and birthdays aren't important. As long as he works hard he's sure he can debut and he's going to figure out that thing with him and Seonho and the rest of the trainees in the future. He will cross that bridge when he gets to it.

'Oh. Were you planning to practice some more?' a voice startles him out of his thoughts and he lookso see a wild head of hair peeking through the doors.

'Seonho?' he's confused as to what the other is doing here because he's usually long gone by this time. 

'Yeah. I thought your lessons ended already? Have I mixed something up? The teachers said you should be back in the dorm but I couldn't find you there so I was wondering if you were here and look at that I actually found you! Are you practising on your own? Because that's really cool if you are and the teachers said you did really well today'

Kuanlin looks at him with a mix of confusion, sadness and surprise because Seonho is, first of all, talking too fast and he doesn't understand half of it but, more importantly, he's actually talking to him and that makes him feel weirdly emotional.

'You were looking for me?' he asks and Seonho nods back enthusiastically.

'Of course I was! It's your birthday today, isn't it? I wanted to congratulate you and ask if you maybe wanted to come over as my parents think you're lonely here without your family so they wanted to invite you to dinner'

Kuanlin is not emotional. He's not exactly emotionless but he doesn't cry at the movies, he doesn't get scared easily and he smiles only when he's happy. People tell him to be more vivid in his expressions but he isn't too good at acting. 

Therefore he's shocked when he realises his eyes are wet and there are actual tears falling down his cheeks. He quickly wipes them away, embarrassed, because this is really shameful and he's really not like this but Seonho's with him the next moment, hugging him and laughing at his antics. 

'Haha, Kuanlin-ah, what's wrong with you? You're being silly now. It's your birthday so you should be happy, not bawling like a baby!'

'I'm not bawling like a baby' he protests against Seonho's shoulder but doesn't let him go. It feels nice to have some kind of bodily contact after so long. 

'I'm sorry' he slurs out as he wants to explain that he didn't meant to be rude but he's not sure if he can actually get the meaning across without sounding like at complete idiot. 

'What you're sorry for?' Seonho wonders while patting Kuanlin's back but he just shakes his head and mumbles 'everything'.

\---

They go to Seonho's house afterwards. His parents are really nice and he has a cute baby brother who tells him that he's really cool and tall. Seonho has a nice family that makes him feel comfortable and welcome. He smiles a lot and tries his hardest to pronounce his words correctly but they often come out wrongly and everyone finds it amusing. He doesn't mind, though, as he likes when people laugh.

When they go back to the dorm late in the evening, and Seonho insisted that he will accompany him there, they don't talk much. 

Kuanlin wonders if maybe Seonho is still a bit angry about everything that happened but then he realizes that Seonho is really... not capable of hating anyone. 

'Kuanlin. Tell me honestly, do you find me bothersome?' Seonho asks and Kuanlin doesn't know what to answer. 

Is Seonho bothersome? Well, he's definitely overwhelming at times but he's not overbearing. And he honestly missed the other talking to him and telling him things. It's not that Seonho is bothersome, he's just... 

'No' Kuanlin says and they leave it at that. 

\---

When they finally arrive at the dorm, it's really late.

'I think I won't go inside. I gotta go back home now' Seonho tells him and that makes Kuanlin happy. That means that Seonho came all the way here just because of him. He didn't come here for others but just because he wanted to walk with him. 

'Ah. Ok' he nods and it's a bit awkward because he doesn't know what to do now. Does he hug Seonho or just wave at him or just say bye? It's really a weird situation and them standing outside the building in the dark doesn't make it any less weird. 

'So then...' he starts but Seonho pulls him into a hug and gives him a quick kiss on the cheek.

'You can fight me all you want but I still think you're cute. Kuanlin-ah, Happy birthday to you!' 

Kuanlin wants to protest and tell him that he's not cute, Seonho is, but the younger is already good ten feet away and increasing their distance rapidly. 

'See you tomorrow, rest well!' Seonho yells as he waves before turning and jogging back home, leaving Kuanlin standing there in confusion. 

He brings his hand up to his cheek where the other planed a kiss and smiles. It actually felt really nice.

\---

The next couple of weeks pass by in a heartbeat. Kuanlin's busy with his dancing and rapping. His Korean lessons are also getting more difficult but he has Seonho now. The other trainees try to include him in their activities.

He visits Seonho's family from time to time and eats together with his new friends at the dorm. He's not scared of voicing his ideas and the teachers give him feedback and praise him for his straightforward personality. 

Kuanlin's also still startstruck with Wooseok hyung and Seonho makes fun of him because of it. Kuanlin doesn't care because Wooseok hyung is the coolest and helps him with his raps.

Life is good, Kuanlin decides when he's lying in his bed most evenings. He can't wait for the training period to end and for them to debut in a real group. 

He wants to become someone admirable in the future and he wants to do it together with Seonho and his other friends. 

And sometimes... Kuanlin looks at the ceiling, wondering why he cannot forget about that, sometimes he really wants Seonho to kiss him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> END END END for this story and I actually hadn't planned it to end like this. This leaves open the possibility for a sequel but I'm not sure if I want or can write one.

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to make this into a one-shot but it was becoming too long so I divided the story


End file.
